HOW TO WORD A WEDDING INVITATION
Want to know how to word your wedding invitations? How do you word invitation inserts (and do you need them)? I’m going to try to keep this as simple as possible, I promise. We will just address the necessities here, so your head doesn’t start spinning… Before we get going, know you can always, and you should, ask your stationer (me!) if you get stuck. We are here to help you. Wording wedding invitations isn’t difficult, you just need to plan it out and follow some rules of etiquette.
In our last blog post we covered the pieces you will probably need in your invitation suite. Now we’ll talk about how to word them.
WORDING YOUR INVITATION:
By far, this is obviously the most important part of your suite. Wording your wedding invitation will usually depend on where the ceremony is being held. A more formal and traditional approach should be taken if you’re getting married in a place of worship. For ceremonies taking place in other locations, you can definitely take a more modern approach to wording your invitation. Remember though, your guests will still need to know the following:
Who is hosting: whether it’s your parents, you the couple, your fiancé’s parents, or others, the host line will indicate who is hosting the event.
Formal wedding invitations: wording should include social and formal titles like Mr., Mrs. and Miss or Ms., Doctor, Judge, Colonel, Senator, etc. The person with the title is always listed first. Note: Professional certifications (CPA, MD, DDS) business titles (Esquire) and educational degrees (PhD) are not used.
Modern wedding invitations: social titles like Mr. and Mrs. can be left off if you prefer and the wording can be less formal as long as the essentials are covered. Contemporary couples may choose to leave off their professional titles as well.
The type of event: marriage, vow renewal, commitment ceremony, wedding
Who: the names of the honored couple (if they are not hosting).
When: the date and time of the event.
Date: Formal wedding etiquette specifies that all words are to be spelled out. The year can be left off if you desire. Hyphenation is only necessary for numbers under 100 like “twenty-fifth”. The year will not be hyphenated: two thousand nineteen. Some less formal, more contemporary invitations will use formatting like “June 27, 2019” and that’s ok too!
Time: should also be spelled out as “five o’clock”, “at half after four o’clock”, etc. Some contemporary design uses phrases like: “in the evening” or “in the afternoon” but it is not necessary unless the event takes place at times like 8, 9 or 10. You should then designate “in the morning” or “in the evening.”
Location: where the event will take place. This includes the name of the ceremony location and the city and state where it is located. The street address is not necessary unless there is more than one place in the city with the same name. The zip code is never used on your invitation.
WORDING EXAMPLES - INVITATION:
The left example displays wording with the bride’s parents hosting and is slightly more formal than the right.
The right is more casual and indicates that the honored guests are hosting the event.
Do you need a reception line? Sometimes…
There are a few ways to approach your invitation wording. On a formal invitation, if all of your guests are being invited to both the ceremony and reception, then the reception information can be added below the ceremony location on your invitation (see below). If you are only inviting some guests to the reception, you should use a separate reception enclosure, or, a less formal approach would be to add the reception information to your details insert. When your ceremony and reception are being held in the same location, you can add something like “Reception follows” or “Dinner and dancing to follow” at the bottom of your invitation.
Do you need to indicate a dress code? Not necessarily…
Traditionally, the time of day in which the wedding takes place will dictate the dress code. Hence, weddings after 6 o’clock are considered formal weddings. Many people are not familiar with this and contemporary weddings tend to default to suits and cocktail dress. If you need to indicate a black tie dress code, do so on the reception enclosure in the lower right hand corner or add this information to your details insert as “Black tie” or “White tie”
What if your wedding is in the morning and your reception is before 1 o’clock? You’re crazy?….who wants to get up that early for a wedding?? Joking! (maybe not)
In all seriousness…For a formal reception card, you would change “Reception” to “Breakfast.” It does not matter if the reception is at 11a.m. or noon, you still use the word “Breakfast.” Personally, I have never encountered this…I am not an early riser anyway so it’s totally possible I could sleep through your wedding if you invited me and got married before 11a.m. 😉 I just thought this tidbit of info was interesting and I needed to fill up a little more space below.
What if you are only inviting adults to your wedding?
That’s totally fine! It’s your wedding! What if you are afraid that guests will bring their littles anyway? First, never put “adults only” or “no children” on the invitation. It’s actually a huge etiquette faux pas to put it anywhere on the invitation or enclosures. You can put this information on your wedding website and have close family and friends spread the word for you. We will also discuss this in our upcoming blog post about envelope addressing.
An example of a more formal invitation with the ceremony and reception locations on the same card:
DOCTOR AND MRS. JOSEPH STERN
REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR COMPANY
AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER
ELIZABETH ANN
TO
MR. ROBERT JOHN MILLER
SATURDAY, JUNE TWENTY-NINTH
TWO THOUSAND NINETEEN
AT FIVE O’CLOCK
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS
AND AFTERWARD AT THE RECEPTION
BLUE HILLS COUNTRY CLUB
TWENTY-THREE PECUNIT STREET
CANTON, MASSACHUSETTS
An example of a formal reception insert with the black tie dress code:
Reception
Immediately following the ceremony
Blue Hills Country Club
Twenty-three Pecunit Street
Canton, Massachusetts
Black tie
An example of a formal reception insert where the reception is before 1 o’clock:
Breakfast
Immediately following the ceremony
Blue Hills Country Club
Twenty-three Pecunit Street
Canton, Massachusetts
THE ENCLOSURES:
We discussed the necessary enclosures to include with your wedding invitation as well as some optional ones in our previous blog post. Here, we are going to quickly outline what contemporary couples are including. If your wedding is formal in all aspects of the word, then I will have to write another blog post on the very subject! Which I will do, just not now 🙂
THE REPLY CARD or RSVP:
A reply card or RSVP is fairly easy to word. You’ll need the following:
• A place for your guests to write their name(s)
• Response date. Typically 4 -6 weeks before your wedding date.
• A line for them to indicate if they accept or decline your invitation
Optional items you can include:
• Meal choices for your guests to choose from if you need this information for your venue ahead of time.
• An alternate way to RSVP: email, wedding website, etc (but I still believe replies via the mail are the best!)
• A place to indicate any dietary restrictions or allergies
THE DETAILS OR INFORMATION ENCLOSURE:
All of these are traditionally separate enclosures.
If you are having a very formal wedding, you will need to keep them separate. When you need to convey a lot of information, I highly recommend using separate cards for each. Some couples combine information onto one card (see below) and call it a “details” insert but if you have multiple accommodations or detailed directions, you should use one card per category. Let’s be real, crowding everything onto one card isn’t pretty.
• Reception (a good place to indicate a dress code if you have one)
• Accommodations
• Directions and map
• Wedding website
• Weekend events (if your wedding is a weekend-long celebration)
Do not include a registry card or gift requests. Save this information for your wedding website.
WORDING EXAMPLES – CONTEMPORARY ENCLOSURES:
The Details enclosure (left) displays wording with a more contemporary approach where guests have your wedding website information at hand. It also lists the locations, within the same venue, for the events taking place after the ceremony.
The RSVP is one example of the many ways a reply card can be worded. The blank line is for you to write in the number of seats prior to sending the RSVP with the invitation.
Hopefully, this helps you with most of your wedding invitation wording questions. If not, I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.
You can also refer to these two timeless publications:
Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette
Crane’s Wedding Blue Book
Enjoy your day!
~Lauren
PHOTO CREDITS: WANDERBACK PHOTOGRAPHY